A Fish out of Water

Barbecue at the home of close relatives. I’ve never attended but they insist and I’m sorry to say no. My mother and brother, even though they say I’m “embarrassing”, want me to go. My husband loves this kind of social life.
Anticipatory anxiety for days, fear that everything is not in order. I spend hours and hours cleaning so as not to make our family look bad, but I am struggling for every speck of dust, every cobweb, every blade of overgrown grass…